Weird Wild Schtuff

When life gets weird, I stop blogging.

For the past two weeks, I've had a diminished household. Which is weird.

First, Ardyn went to nanny for my sister-in-law for a couple weeks.
Then, the boys started public high school complete with football practice before and after school.
THEN, Ashlin traveled to my mom's to help her pack and keep her company on the long road-trip to relocate.

As a result, I've had two little girls in my home for the majority of each day. Only two little girls.

It has been good. Almost too good.

Do you know that two children are collectively far less chaotic than six?

Staggering mathematical estimations! Less food. Fewer dishes. Less laundry. Fewer arguments. Less traffic. Fewer shoes over which to trip.

Gone For a Dip

Tonight I experienced one of those Mom moments that for me are too few and far between.

I belly laughed with my daughters.

I'm a fun girl, but shamefully, my kids see the least amount of my happiness. I'm working on surrendering my agenda and preferences so that I can cheerfully invest in their lives ... not just manage them. But I have much to surrender, so it's a slow process.

Anyway, we were swimming this evening. Just the girls and me. In the rain. "Please go under! You don't have eye make-up on, so PLEASE go under!" They begged. I smiled at the beautiful, cheering crowd that surrounded me in the shallow end.

I buckled my knees and plunged beneath the surface. I bounced back to my feet to greet fresh air, rain drops, and applause. "Do it again!" They cheered.

"Wanna see my handstand?" I teased.

Flashback Friday

(Originally posted in 2007)

Speaking Love

Landen received a letter in the mail yesterday. It was from his "friend-girl" of nearly a decade. I wish you could have seen his face as he read her kind, encouraging words. His smile sighed, and his head nodded with each mark of punctuation. When he was finished reading, he scanned the paper - front and back - and then sat back in his seat to relish the idea that someone thinks he's great. After a moment of pondering, he sat straight up, tore the heart-shaped stickers from the corners of the envelope, and put them with the letter in his pocket. He immediately got out a piece of paper and began penning his recipricol message of "like". He patted the outside of his jacket pocket and said, "Now, that's some good stuff, right there!"

ScatterDay

Today, Elizabeth and I spent the whole day at home together.  Philip took the other kiddos to watch Luke play in his final tournament.  They romped in red dirt and drank water from the cooler while she and I enjoyed chatting and chores - and a few snugly books.

I am completely sick  of being in the kitchen.  Sorry.  There is no joy in cooking these days.  Philip is half-way through a 21 day nutritional cleanse.  Ashlin & I are supporting him by following the same guidelines...just not in liquid form.  She and I like to CHEW our food.  Mari is on the bubble.  She wants to eat the expensive sanctified food to prove she is on the cleanse too, but she would like to have donut holes at church. 

Pest Control: How to Combat Tummy Yuckies

WARNING:  This post contains vivid terminology concerning stomach viruses.  Proceed with caution:)

A vicious stomach virus has circulated and infused our church body for weeks.  Our home has managed to dodge its attack until Tuesday.  With a household this big...with THIS many folks and THIS much love....tummy yuckies are NO bueno.

When Landen was a toddler with a  bug, our pediatrician gave us a prescription for phenergan gel and strategic orders by which to minimize and abbreviate the awful effects of a stomach virus.  He rattled them off as if everyone knew this, but he was being especially kind to take a few extra moments to enlighten such a maternal greenhorn.

We tried his strategy, and never had to use the gel.

Background

For the first time in my marriage, I have lived an entire year without repainting/redecorating a room.

Last Labor Day weekend, I repainted the dining room and ended up with a bulging disc and a month of bedrest and physical therapy.  For some reason, I have not been just hopping to start a new project.

But after three hundred and sixty-somethin days...I think I'm ready.

Our bedroom walls have been tan since I painted them Christmas of 2005.  Well, actually two years ago when we remodeled our master bathroom, I had to "touch them up".  Do you feel afraid by that phraseology?  Understandable.  Philip had knocked out a wall to get the one piece tub installed.  He had repaired the wall with new sheetrock and it was my job to prime & paint it.  I was already a tiny bit tired of tan walls, and hoped to redecorate the bedroom too at that time.

Ok, follow me, here....   We had to pay the plumber WAY more than we budgeted.  So all the "decor" money was gone.  Since I couldn't fund new bedding, I wasn't sure what color the room would ultimately be.   I had to repair some old screw holes with spackle and primer. I primed the big rectangle from the tub passage and then used the leftover cream paint from the bathroom to cover the primer.  I knew a big creme-on-tan rectangle with four odd looking splotches on either side would just look silly.  So, as the primer fumes infiltrated my senses and sensibilities....

Four Seasons

Summer

Around 10am, the girls put on their swim suits and went to play in the sand box on the patio.  It was almost like playing at the beach...bright sunshine, warm breezes, sand in your hoo-ha:)

Autumn
This afternoon a storm barrelled through our area.  High winds pushed the trees to stretch and sway.  The air was cluttered with falling leaves.  Appropriately, the leaves were even yellow and red from the severe drought.

Winter
Tonight as we waited on between church services to pick up the boys, the girls wanted ice cream.  The storm had slightly lowered the outdoor temperature, so with ice cream and a/c, the girls were shivering and begging for the heater.

Spring
As Philip works to restore power to several parts of town, it feels like spring...March comes in like a lion?  Definite roaring earlier today...out like a lamb.  I'll have my share of sheep to count as I try to fall asleep alone.

Thank, You, God for this seemingly lengthy day.  Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.  Protect Philip as he works.  Good night:)

Since You Asked

Landen and Luke are attending Texas Early College High School.  Philip and I have spent the last year exploring our options for outsourcing their education.  We felt like it was time for the next step.  Having them out of the house for part of the day would be great for them and good for me and the girls.

Ardyn was discussing the "new deal" with my friend and in my defense, she explained, "My mom is only one woman, you know!"   (This just in...breaking news!)  Philip felt like we were all ready for a change of scenery, and that the girls could greatly benefit from a little more of my concentrated time.

The first day, we proved him right.  Ardyn and Ashlin each played with Elizabeth for 45 minutes each.  That afforded Mari and I an hour and a half for her lessons.  The rest of the time, the little girls played and read and did art.  I was monitoring them while still available for questions from the big girls.  During nap time after lunch, I was able to help the older girls a little more extensively...and quietly:)

We look forward to more lasting benefits emerging from our new normal.  We miss the boys' help and hugs and handsomeness, but we are just fine without the bickering, burping and body slams.

And...now you know:)

Crazy Mess

On days like this, I try to talk myself out of blogging.  "Girl, folks don't be needin' to know all that crazy mess!" 

I started this blogspot for me.  To keep a grateful, joyful perspective.  I have never been dishonest here.  Though I am a  conservative person by nature, I really try to be open and transparent.

But sometimes my summations can have a bit of a glow that may not have been so apparent in real life.  Philip calls it my "little blog spin".  One time he read something I wrote about him.  He said, "That's awesome, and I know you're tying to show honor and respect, but I'm not sure you always feel that way about me." 

Well, of course I don't ALWAYS feel that way. 

Day in the Life

Luke was at a friends' house over the weekend. Landen left at sunrise to go fishing. My dear, sweet girls gathered their younger sisters to have breakfast and Disney channel so that "Mommy and Daddy could sleep in a little". A surprise call from my brother in Washington, a date-brunch with the main man at IHOP, followed by grocery shopping all afternoon.

Elizabeth has been in "big girl panties" during her awake time all week. How many times have we heard, "I tee-teed in the potty...high five...fruit snack!!"?

This evening, Philip grilled a LOT of meat, some neighbors came to help us put a dent in it, and we had a "free, in-home estimate" for new windows. The Sears guy even joined us for dinner, and offered his last bite of watermelon to Liz. Norman Rockwall would have been pleased.

Only One

I cleaned the whole house today. It took MUCH longer than when the darlings "help" me. But it was a MUCH more thorough job.

I am getting over a summer head cold...which is just a disturbing concept...hot tea and raw nose when it's one hundred degrees outside. I wasn't feeling well, but after last week's caMP3, and spending yesterday on the couch, the house was screaming for attention.

My mood teetered between happy productivity and disgruntled victomization.
I found tremendous satisfaction in the overall improvement of a room's appearance and germ content. However,

Pajama Mama

We're celebrating the last 24 hours of testosterone-free, lid-down livin' week!

We miss our fellas, really, we do. We don't miss their odors of many sorts. We don't miss their massive consumption of grocery items. We don't miss their multi-media preferences. We don't miss their odors...did I already list those? But we miss their smiles and their help.

SOOOO...

Busy Town

Ashlin awoke before the rest of us this morning. She shared the secret of her consciousness by filling the house with the buttery aroma of cinnamon raisin toast.

Within an hour we were all fed, dressed and in the car.

We dropped Mari Alice and Luke off for the first round of haircuts.

To the church house to fill out various forms, to pick up a vbs shirt, and to officially reject the box of dust mite infested, scraggly haired, missing eyed puppets that were graciously offered to be used at caMP3 next month. Umm, no thank you, please.

Boredom Busters

Summer reading programs have been around since ...sheesh, since a LONG time ago. I love to get grade-level reading lists off line or from school or TEA site and you can use that as incentive too. Go to library every other week and get books off list then have a reward two weeks later when you turn them in....pizza? movie? one electronic blitz day etc.

Jot down what you think is important for your children to know when they leave your house in a few years....cook a meal? grocery shop? iron clothes? type well? clean house? Call it Life Skills. Schedule opportunities for them to develop these skills.

Chore Charts?

Recently I was asked, "Do you have a summer chore chart for your kids?" I don't really have a separate chart for summer. I'll share what we do around here and maybe you'll be able to grab something helpful...

Our house is divided into zones. (don't judge me:) The kids each rotate responsibilities each week. I welcome all people who have completed zones to dine at my table at mealtime.

Just like WalMart - which is where I heard this phrase and thought "if it works to keep this place neat and tidy, maybe it will work on Southfield." - just like WalMart we do zone defense 4 times a day. Before each meal and bedtime.

Our Zones each week are....

Oscar/Laundry: This person is responsible for keeping O-dog's water & food maintained, keeping the laundry room straight and overseeing the "family" loads like towels/sheets/dad's work clothes throughout the process. (All kids 5 and older do their own laundry)

Kitchen/Dining: This person is my go-to kid for help around mealtime. I usually have everything under control until a few minutes before a meal...they can set table or whatever I need...usually there are many hungry folks offering to help speed things up. Then after the meal that kid and I work together to get everything back to normal. This is a pretty big zone since meals happen SO often, but they know they only have it once a month.

Living/Bath/Hall: This person is in charge of keeping our main living spaces tidy. They don't HAVE to put everything away themselves...but they need to persuade their fam to put stuff away. This cuts down on my nagging. Landen would like the girls to please put away their coloring books, not me. It also verifies -as he runs through and checks for a fresh hand towel and toilet paper - that a visitor would feel comfortable using our facilities at any time.

Car/Garage/Patio/Nook: This person is in charge of maintaining these high traffic places. Again, they CAN just go deliver stuff to people's room, or encourage folks to do it, or at times I've heard a public service announcement that goes like this, "Hey guys! There is a ton of junk form the ballgame in the car. Whatever is still there in 5 minutes is goin in the trash." lol

With fewer kids, you could combine a couple of these zones...Kitchen/Dining/Laundry and then Living/Bath/Car/Garage. Or Do Kitchen/Dining by the Day and then Divide the others evenly into two weekly zones. You could even have your kids help you divide the duties....mine are MUCH more enthusiastic when they have a part in organizing it. It's fun to hear their perspective too.

Our allowance is not tied to these zones. Johnsons have zone responsibilities. Johnsons who have done so are welcome to attend Johnson meals.

The boys mow the yard - no money. Philip doesn't get paid to mow. They don't. The boys babysit my girls - no money. I don't get paid for caring for them, they don't either. The girls are responsible for helping around the house while others mow, and submitting to their brother's authority while we're away. "Everybody working as a team!"

We give allowance for the purpose of learning money management. It is for snacks/ birthday gifts etc. They get 40 cents for each year of their age...which puts teenagers above $5 a week. They can save it or blow it, but I'm not responsible for their snacks. If they earn money outside the home, that week's allowance is cancelled. (They have provided their own money to learn to manage:)

During the summer I would think electronic time would be easy to get out of control. This summer we have WAY more electronic choices around our house than ever before...so I'm probably going to have to come up with something. They could earn minutes of electronics by reading. Or perhaps we'll have certain hours of the day that are electronic free-for-alls, and then besides those time slots, we're low-tech old-school:)

What works great at your house?? Leave a response, pretty please:)

Calm Within the Storm

Is it weird that I love rainy days?

"Yesterday was plain awful", as orphan Annie would sing. So perhaps any kind of day would have seemed good for the sake of improvement. No matter, today was wonderfully peaceful - cool and refreshing in many ways. Some people move to sunnier climates to combat depression, I think Seatle or London might serve me well.

Why do I love to be home so much? It's roomy, but not fancy; maintained, but not emaculate. It's not trendy, but it displays the things that make me happy. It's not spacious, but it holds the ones in whom I delight.

Tour of Gratitude for tonight...

From the garage: countless pairs of shoes - some for play, some for work, some for simply looking lovely.

From the kitchen: the yummy smell of breakfast food prepared in time for dinner.

From the dining room: that big beautiful bowl in the center of the table that holds far fewer apples and none of the bananas from earlier this morning.

From the nook: I'm thankful for the junk. There, I said it. The constant shuffling of papers to and from piles, the neverending transitions throughout the day from cluttered to tidy - all the many indications that several active people enjoy sharing this space.

From the living room: the host of wii characters that represent guests in our home from the last year or so. I can hear Mari cheering for the animated baseball game, "Good job, Abby! Way to smack the ball, Uncle Josh!"

From the hall: a well-worn path that registers productivity.

From the hall bathroom: six soapy scrubbies that wash away the wear of the day.

From the pink room: an extra large mirror propped against the wall - smudged with fingerprints - reflections of fun.

From the green room: hmmmmm. (I'm consciously dismissing the overall aroma of that boyish place to think of something lovely.) Ah, yes, the bottle of Adidas body spray that covers a multitude of funk.

From the purple room: my ceramic baby plate and cup set...establishing my own antiquity.

From our bathroom: the silver cake pedestal I use to hold my earrings, pedometer, and perfume...and two bobbie pins. When it's time to wipe off the counter, I just lift the whole platter and voila'!

From our bedroom: the little corner that houses my sewing machine that Philip bought our first Christmas. The gift that keeps on giving:)

From the patio: two wooden rocking chairs - ever available to host comfy conversations and breezy laughter.

Thank You, God for rainy days and clear perspective.

Egg-cellente' Concluded

Wow.

Thunderstorms and tornadoes have marched through our area all evening. Philip is working. The kids are in bed. I am REALLY tired, but just wanted to document what a fun day today was...wacky fun until the deafening destruction and all. Plus also, there are whopper robin eggs in the cabinet, and if I blog, chances are I won't finish them off. When Philip is working a storm, I can't sleep, but have no problem soothing my anxiety with substantial late night snacking.

ok, back to today. The boys spent the morning tearing down the "Sacrifice" set while the girls and I bought groceries and ran errands. Evidently, I returned to the church to retrieve them just before they were to receive their reward: a BURGER. You can't be messin' with a workin' man's BURGER!

I agreed to provide Subway sandwiches to reward their efforts AND keep the kitchen clear for grocery disbursement. After lunch, the dark skies threatened, so we rushed outside to have another plastic egg hunt. Elizabeth enjoyed the game so much over the weekend, we thought it cruel to withhold another round.

Oh wait. I forgot to mention that I put the remnants of last week's eggs in a pot of water to boil, so as to simultaneously make room in fridge for the new box and prepare ingredients for salmon salad.

THEN we all went outside.

Oh, fatigue just clicked up a notch. I'll have to finish this post later. Remind me to show you the awesome baseball photos I took, and to tell you about the eggs. ohhhh, the eggs. The eggs.

*****

Ok, so the eggs were on to boil, and we were hunting dozens of colorful eggs outside.

I took pictures of Elizabeth squatting over opened eggs, with whopper slobber happily oozing from her smile. Since I had the camera, the other kids wanted me to capture some of their athletic finesse on film. Huge fun! Sports Photo-Journalism might be my next big thang:)

I got several shots of Ardyn snagging grounders. I scored by framing Luke mid-air as he caught a fly ball. I snapped several pictures of Ashlin throwing and catching and hitting --the theme of these was "eyes closed". (Philip was less than thrilled and barely believed her defense: "I was squinting because it was bright.")

We must have been out there for almost an hour. I strolled back toward the patio thinking, "Man, this is great. Fun kids, good photos, strong breeze..." Just then, Ardyn, who had gone inside for a drink of water, came screaming out into the yard.

I could not understand what she was saying, but she was completely frantic. (But, honestly, her typical response to normal events can be frantic and exuberant. I assumed my cell phone had rung or something.) I walked past her through the doorway, assuring her I was not in the mood to speak to anyone.

In the next few seconds, the collision of sensory perceptions jarred me from my apathetic opinion of text messages.

I saw smoke. I smelled funk. I heard popping.

As I quizzed myself on who might have authorized a snack, I recognized the pan from my earlier task. The eggs! Evidently, the water had evaporated several minutes earlier. And EVIDENTLY, eggs left near a heat source unattended will pop out of their shells like kernels of corn in hot oil.

Just as I tried to move the pan off the stove, another egg popped, rocketing sharp sulfuric debris into the air. I jumped back instinctively.

Ok, negatory on moving the pan without protective gear.

As I contemplated my next move, another egg exploded.

Ok, negatory on leaving the eggs on the burner.

I grabbed a large pot lid from the sink, and using it as a shield, I advanced toward the stove, slammed the lid down over the pot, flipped off the burner power, and retreated to my earlier point of assessment.

From safe vantage, I realized the pan (and my house) was filled with thick smoke. For some reason, water seemed appropriate to me. Carrying the pan at arms length, I shoved it under running cold water.

Oh, good. A geyser of rotten-egg steam billowed up and saturated the air around the sink...the air around my face.

B.L.E.C.K!

I took the pan of gym-sock-stew out to the yard. Back indoors, I opened windows, turned on exhaust fans, lit candles, and cleaned the kitchen with industrial strength citrus cleanser. The a/c kicked on, and I let her ride! Thank You, God for central air filtration systems!!

Mari saw the pan and heard the tale, and simply shook her head in pitiful dismay.

She offered to walk out to the WAY back yard and dump the slump. On her way back, the storm system approached from the west, and rain began to fall. We gathered around the picnic table to make sure we had consumed all the candy from the overshadowed egg hunt.

Once we came inside, the horrid stench had downgraded to merely an awful smell.

But wait, don't answer yet...

No one noticed that Oscar-dog sneaked back to the woods to see what all the fuss had been about. Well, no one noticed until he regurgitated the contents of the pan onto the floor in the hall.

BLECK. DOUBLE-BLECK!!!!!

And....that was our very exciting day! Luckily we only have photographic evidence of the good stuff. We're all good. However, I have removed all egg-associated meals from the menu until July.

It's just too soon.

Thank You, God, for your mercy- for not allowing our house to burn down. I confess I am NOT good at multi-tasking. My memory is frail, and my attention is distracted and diverted much of the time. Thank You for watching over us. Thank you for my wonderful kids. Thank You for Philip. Did we make You giggle today? Just wondering:)

Tea for Two

This afternoon, my girls have some friends over. I am amazed at how easily they begin to chatter and giggle from the first moment they board my car. Given every available pastime, they have chosen to play Dress-Up and Tea Party.

Each lovely maiden is clad in fancy frills. After the fashion show where everyone is a winner, they request pretzels, peanuts and hot tea in "real tea cups". They create a centerpiece for the table, and set it beautifully. While awaiting the whistle, they prance and twirl, forever offering commentary on everything from scholastics and shoes to sisterhood and snacks.

***

This week I've had two opportunities to plan women's events. With each brainstorm, we are reminded that women ultimately want a reason to put on jewelry, enjoy a change of scenery, and some light refreshment to accompany their inevitable and incessant conversation.

Dress-Up and Tea Party! Once a girl, always a girl:)

Bright Spot

Philip and Luke are enjoying this gorgeous day at the ballpark with their team.

Elizabeth is basking beneath the nap time breeze of her ceiling fan.

Landen rode across the road to trick some bass with a lure on a line.

Each of my three future family managers is completing her single spring break organization project.

Mari is straightening the left drawer in my bathroom: the "hair thing" drawer. With all the ponytails and clips and bows used each day, that place can get Cuh-razy!

Ashlin is tackling the arts and crafts cabinet - the one more adequately described by Mari's mispronunciation, "Arts and Craps".

Ardyn is busy cleaning out the hall bathroom cabinets...the high-traffic area where pigs fear to tread.

I have a looming deadline for a planning project so I came to the computer to get to work...but I simply prefer to blog.

Such a peaceful, dutiful, and delightful day must be recorded in some way!

And so it shall:)

**In a spirit of equality, Landen and Luke have agreed to organize the garage and lower kitchen cabinets respectively...and respectfully:)

For No Particular Reason

So last night Philip and I cooked dinner TO.GETH.ER.

Seventeen years of marriage, and I dare say this has seldom happened. [read: never]

We were outside playing baseball. Yes, WE. All Johnsons.

From the pitcher's mound, Ashlin asked, "Are you making pancakes for dinner, Mom?"

From deep center field, I was about to give the affirmative, when the really cute catcher/hitting coach piped in, "No, I am making pancakes for supper."

Well, then.

After our team scored the go-ahead run, we called the game, put away the gear and came inside for showers. While Philip began mixing the sandy, whole-wheat batter and waited for the griddle to heat, I chopped some vegetables for my famous "junked-up eggs"...scrambled eggs with spinach, potatoes, onions, peppers, ham and cheese.

After a lengthy, potentially stressful discussion about serving sizes and measuring options, I offered my blanket statement of submission, "Whatever you decide will be great!"

Anytime he asked me another question, I just hit rewind and play, "Whatever you decide will be great."

We silently worked side by side until dinner was served. The freshly bathed kids joined us at the dinner table for the second breakfast-at-night in eight days.

Over dinner, we pondered all the people and places on the earth where Christ is not known. We discussed our all-time favorite flavor of chips. And we all did our best impression of "Daddy when he drives." Hilar.

Clean kitchen. Two episodes of vintage Cosby. Bedtime for all.

Thank You, God, for my sweet, beautiful family. You love us well:)