All Things New

Jenn's Grandma is cheerful and sweet. The few times I've seen her, she has greeted me with a gentle touch and a quiet, pre-existent giggle ... like she just knows we are about to enjoy ourselves.

Evidently, she is practical too, and not inclined to attach herself to material things with too many emotional ties. They tell me she has had many a happy garage sale over the years.

But now her oldest granddaughter is engaged to marry my youngest brother, and friends and family are helping the happy couple accumulate household goods and other gifts. With the wedding a dwindling number of days away, one might wish there were a few of those garage-sale items available for Grandma to pass along as heirlooms. Old, new, borrowed, blue?  

I'm not sure Grandma is overly concerned though.

What Love is This

**Originally posted November 2012

Yesterday, I sat down with each girl individually and gave them "cyber dollars" so they could privately shop online for their family members. Ardyn showed up with a list. Ashlin was definitive and decisive. Elizabeth was not happy her time slot fell during her one PBS show, so with eyes darting toward the tv, she hastily spouted, "I just want to get elephants for the little kids and monkeys for the big kids, ok?" That girl!

Anyway, when Mari sat down, she had three dollar bills wrinkled into a wad in her hand. Not understanding that I intended to fully fund her virtual shopping spree, she looked up at me and with those big brown eyes blinking slowly and sweetly, she whispered, "This is all my money. Can you please look up 'wedding rings'?"

I blinked a blurry tear away as I typed "gold diamond ring" into the search box, and she continued to talk. "This three dollars can buy you a really pretty ring and then - since my money will be all gone - I'll just make stuff for everybody else ... I can make a scrap book for dad and ..."

Merry Mari

Oh, I wish that silly time stamp wasn't on all the photos in this batch. (I've changed the settings now.)Anyway ...

Look what arrived this week!! Mari Alice was ecstatic ... not an exaggeration. She said, "Don't ever take this off ... not ever, ever! And even if you do, I won't take it and lose it, I promise, promise!"

We had a good, long nose to nose whisper-chat about forgiving and forgetting. I assured her [again] that I am not upset with her and that she is absolutely forgiven. I encouraged her not to worry any more about it: "We're moving on, ok?" We stared wide-eyed and resolute at one another for several seconds ...

Just then, Ardyn, who was watching from across the room, said, "Um ... this is definitely a hug moment ... I'm pretty good at figuring out when a hug would be the right thing, and this is definitely one of those times."

We all giggled and hugged and looked at my pretty, pretty ring one more time.

This morning, I was holding my favorite mug with both hands, sipping my steamy coffee when Mari Alice walked in and smiled.

"Good morning," I chimed. "Why are you grinning at me?"

"I can see your ring and I really love it."
"Well I do too ... but not as much as I love you!"

Thank You, God, for forgiveness. For giving back what has been taken ... even if it's not quite the same, we trust You that it is best. You are the great Redeemer. You heal and bind up and restore. Your thoughts are higher than our thoughts and Your ways are not our ways ... and for that, I thank You. I trust You and Your good plan WAY more than I trust my own. Thank You for beauty  - the kind in diamonds and gold, and the kind in darling little girls.

Twenty-Nine

Today I am thankful for Mari Alice. She is pure delight. Every day is a new adventure with her. She's bright and happy; bold and helpful. I love how she starts so many sentences with "I was just wondering..." She is hard-working and playful, and I am blessed to spend my days with her.

Yesterday, I sat down with each girl individually and gave them "cyber dollars" so they could privately shop online for their family members. Ardyn showed up with a list. Ashlin was definitive and decisive. Elizabeth was not happy her time slot fell during her one PBS show, so with eyes darting toward the tv, she hastily spouted, "I just want to get elephants for the little kids and monkeys for the big kids, ok?" That girl!

Anyway, when Mari sat down, she had three dollar bills wrinkled into a wad in her hand. Not understanding that I intended to fully fund her virtual shopping spree, she looked up at me and with those big brown eyes blinking slowly and sweetly, she whispered, "This is all my money. Can you please look up 'wedding rings'?"

I blinked a blurry tear away as I typed "gold diamond ring" into the search box, and she continued to talk. "This three dollars can buy you a really pretty ring and then - since my money will be all gone - I'll just make stuff for everybody else ... I can make a scrap book for dad and ..."

A few weeks after my wedding ring went missing, I ordered a $15 silver band from overstock.com. I wanted to have a symbol of my marriage, but still resist the urge to replace my ring too soon ... standing firm in the hope that we'd miraculously find it.

But scrolling through all the images of glittery goodness, I think Mari and I both wanted something new. She saw one that she liked and shouted, "OOH! That one is gorgeous, and it's $2something. Get it!" I guided the cursor to hover over the price and offered another 1st grade lesson in place value. Gently, I explained, "It costs two thousand dollars." Deflated, yet resolved, she replied, "Ok ... let's keep looking."

Learning to scan for prices, she saw a giant solitaire for $24. She got really excited and began brainstorming ways to earn the extra money. I quickly introduced her to the deceptive world of "diamanoids". Silently, I wondered how to get out of this situation without hurting her feelings.

We had fun looking through several pages of rings, and then, we saw one that had only limited quantities and was drastically reduced in price ... like by 75%.  (But her money would still barely cover a fraction of the tax.) I clicked to get a better look. It was a beautiful representation of the verse "a cord of three strands is not easily broken", and the red slashed price was leading me to believe we might be able to swing it as an upgraded substitute ring. I still hope and pray for the miracle of my original ring being returned, but to wear a pretty ring until then would be nice.

I secretly sent the link to Philip's phone while Mari continued to admire the ring.

"Could I have this as my Christmas/Anniversary present? Completely on sale and the braided cord has been on my mind for months."

His immediate response: "Yes".
I love that agreeable guy:)

I closed my phone and turned toward Mari. "I think we can get it," I smiled.

"Really??  It's so beautiful! Do you love it? When will we get it? How do they know where we live? How much does it cost?"

"Your Daddy said he'd get it for me."
She stopped suddenly. "No, I want to get this for you. I thought of this ... I lost your first one and I really want to get you a new one. How much will it cost?"

"Um... if you can pay $3, Daddy will cover the rest."

Deal.

This morning, the Lord brought those words back to my mind. "If you can give $3, Daddy will cover the rest." In the calm, dark stillness, my Heavenly Father seemed to whisper, "Cari, if you can give me everything you have, I'll cover the rest."

Isn't that the truth?

Everything I have is nothing, really ... when compared to the task or project or requirement ahead. But He promises that if I'll give it all up - all my effort, all my plans, everything I seem to have acquired so far - then He will lovingly step in and offer the riches to see it through.

I am reminded of the boy in the Bible with five loaves and two fish. He gave all he had and God used his offering and blessed its effectiveness to overflowing proportions.  Alvin Slaughter words it like this ...

Let Him take it and bless it and
Break it and give it
He'll multiply it in the moment you live it
And in the moment you call
When you've given your all
He steps in, He steps in
And He'll say
What's that you have in your hand?
I can use it, if you're willing to lose it.
Take the little you have and make it grand.
I am El Shaddai and I'll more than supply your need.

I got a little side-tracked, but now you see why I am so deeply grateful for Mari Alice. Her precious life is divine conduit - a channel of blessing to me.

Dear God, Thank you for my sweet Mari Alice. Thank You for the very fun guy You have chosen just for her. I can't wait to watch their story unfold. You are kind and good and Your mercies never fail. Thank You.

Not Forgotten

Elizabeth asked to pray at breakfast today.  "Dear God, thank you for today. umm. I can't memember..."  I lifted my eyes to watch as my little girl lost hold of the prayer she had consistently prayed for months. 

We all have it memorized, "Dear God, thank you for today.  Help us find Mom's ring. Amen."

I watched her fidgety lips as she struggled to reclaim the wording that had flowed so easily for so long.  "Um...thank you...thank you for...um...help us..." Eventually, Philip offered gentle conclusion as he squeezed the little hand he was holding and said definitively, "Amen."

I sipped my coffee and remembered the day my wedding ring was lost, and the dozens of prayers each of us have prayed. I wondered if vibrant faith was fading into muted complacency.

Lively breakfast conversation jarred me from my dismal daydream. I sipped again, and listened to the ideas darting across the table.

Mari Alice's Baptism

MA & JW...Are they related, or what? 

 Thank God, for friends and family who show up equipped with cameras!  Gardening and Photography...NOT my strongest subjects.

 Sweetest words of the day:  "Mari, because of your acceptance of Christ as your Savior, I baptize you, my daughter, and now, my sister...in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."

I'm Singing!

For several months, Mari has been asking questions and wanting to discuss issues of faith.  Last fall, she was adamant that she wanted to "take Jesus as her Savior".  We recognized that particular phrasing from another household of friends.  When I asked her what "Savior" meant, she couldn't really tell me.  I knew that God had begun a good work in her and I didn't sense a need to rush things.  He would be faithful to complete it.

When she took my wedding ring off the counter and lost it last fall, the conversations escalated in frequency, duration, and depth.  We discussed the intricacies of remorse, forgiveness, and our human inability to restore things....sometimes we just CAN'T make things right.

Her apparent brokenness over my lost ring was clear evidence of God's movement in her life.  We continued to trust Him.
Sunday night, in MP3 (kid's choir), I was introducing a new song.  Everyone seemed rambunctious, so

To Be Honest

My wedding ring is still missing.  Every time I think to pray for its return, my heart turns toward Mari Alice.  This has been a long journey for her.  We talk about it daily.  Some days she speaks with matter-of-fact, objective certainty, other times, she breaks down into a swamp of emotions and remorse.

During Monday's revival service, she seemed stirred.  I wondered if there would be a confession forthcoming.  A confession of faith.  A confession of what really happened to my ring.

She knows she should never have touched my ring.  She knows it was wrong.  She knows she sinned.  She knows she is forgiven.  But it is still unresolved and mysterious to us all.

Several times a day, we ask her again.  Her story is always the same.

First Things First

No ring yet. But much searching, much discussion.

Luke 15:8 "Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it?"

The urgency with which we initially searched for my ring  sounds like this woman who has lost a coin.  Since my lost wedding ring has been the topic de jour for prayer and ponderings for over a week, I wonder if the Lord isn't trying to show me an area of my life where I am missing the mark.

Yesterday morning I awoke at 3:30...wide awake. 

Key-Ring History Lesson

I lived a harried, yet monotonous life back then.   Supporting my husband as he worked long hours...and as he played long hours too.  Teaching two energetic young boys while caring for a toddler and an infant.  Leading worship, coordinating MOPS, learning how to cook more healthfully.  I was sleep deprived and a little out of sorts a lot of the time.  Almost a decade ago.

In the mayhem of one of those days, I lost my keys.  I looked everywhere.  I retraced my steps.  I tried to convince Philip that I had indeed carried out those two strategies.  (tiny sheesh)  "Yes, Honey....I looked there....Yes, Philip....I checked there too....No, Sweet.Heart.Darling.Friend.of.MINE....I did not take them outside."

Until and For

I usually do not get upset.  I get angry when things aren't done right.  I get aggravated when I'm not heard.  But to be upset or worried or anxious is not a typical reaction for me.  Today I am.

There are wildfires burning all around us within our county.  The sky is filled with smoke.  My home is filled with a haze.  Our hearts are heavy and our throats burn.

I wonder if I should follow the advice of "evacuation preparedness" and have our shoes by the door, our water hoses connected, and valuables like photo albums in a central location.

Speaking of valuables...my wedding ring is missing.