Well, it's day 30. And for some faithful folks, tomorrow morning will begin with a literal "break [the] fast" meal.
(I won't mention the young, eager beavers sitting in a fast food parking lot right this second waiting to toast their various levels of victory with Mt Dew slushies and a big greasy plate of nachos as soon as the clock strikes 12. Seriously, not one word will I say ... except gross. Gross del Grande.)
Anyway!
On August first we started this 30 day challenge.
I wrote about our experience during the first week.
I trucked along another week or two. I have tons of excuses for bailing, and they are all pretty lame. I'm sure it can be traced back to a tiny slip, a small stretch of the rules, then perhaps a moderate amount of mis-guided stubbornness. I don't like losing, but if I can't absolutely win big, I am sadly prone to just give up.
I made it to day 19 with the 30 foods, then it became too easy to just give in and eat "whatever".
Honestly, I was never super solid on the daily exercise ... and I was so consumed with the food and movement portions, the Bible reading [for 30 whole minutes in a row each day] received even less attention.
So how do I unpack this? Chalk it up for the loser and move on?
It was a challenge. By definition, it was "something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle with special effort."
So it was not easy. Duh.
If we had done a "30 minutes of couch time each day" challenge,
or a "30 days of liver & kale abstinence" challenge,
or a "30 minutes of listening to music each day" challenge,
I would have rocked.the.world!
And it should be noted that - with those not-so-radical lifestyle choices - I could have prevailed perfectly all by myself ... in my own strength ... within my normal, natural routine.
But that's not what abundant life is about. I don't want to live for "self" and "natural".
I want God's supernatural strength. (I really do ... even though I don't act like it a lot of the time.) He's so wise and kind to offer His power to overcome our junk. But I'm too busy living my life my way.
Gotta be broken before I can be filled. (God has the coolest, weirdest, smartest, scary-good ideas!)
In John 12:24-25 Jesus predicts His death and hints at His life's purpose. "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
Jesus is speaking of His death making victorious living available to all who would believe. But there's truth in that science, y'all! A seed has to fall and die in order to bring about further growth.
Fall and die. Fall and die.
So I can rise and live. Rise and live.
What did we learn about CDJ this month? She is weak and selfish ...
when left to her own limited resources.
What did we learn about God this month? He is mighty patient ...
and continues to offer His limitless grace.
Was there glaring rebellion on my part? yes.
Were there glimmers of hope this month? yes. Thank You, Jesus.
For one thing, discipline and saying "no" to selfish desires was the buzz around Southfield.
Diligence was encouraged and restraint was applauded.
And though the flesh was weak at times, the spirit was so very willing so very often.
We did not clock 1800 minutes of walking in the Word, but we spent WAY more minutes reading and exercising than we would have without the challenge.
Though we did stray beyond the food boundaries, we typically "cheated" with unlisted vegetables and fruit or (gasp)yogurt. (and I'm not gonna lie, there was Diet Dr Pepper and a couple Oreos involved.) But all-in-all it was a very healthy month, nutritionally speaking. (oh, and a Payday candy bar or two. Judge me. I'm there.)
I will not belittle my failure for this 30 day challenge. It is what it is. [a very big flop]
But, I will not believe this has been a total loss. I was made for more.
I just need to remember that to get to the "more", I have to become "less".
Less of me. More of Him.
On my way to take a bunch of "one-day challenges" in a big long row ... hoping to shrink and grow;)
