Wednesday night, Landen went to the mall to walk with me after church. We stopped by the grocery to pick up just a couple things. As we walked out to our car, a woman in a parked car called for our attention. I turned and approached her car as she continued to roll down her window. (Philip had just handed me my weekly allowance of $20 before we left church)
"My son and I need a place to stay tonight, can you give me $20?"
Willing, yet skeptical I questioned, "Where can you stay for $20?"
"Oh, I have $10 already...there's a cheap hotel that will let me stay for $30"
"Oh, good, where is it?"
"Uh...down the road..."
"OK, I'll follow you there and take care of the bill."
Seemingly disheartened, she stuttered, "Uh...oh...I don't want you to do that."
"Have a good evening." I said as I walked to my car.
I was disheartened as well. I didn't know if I had been unhelpful or lied to. Perhaps both? Landen was truly bothered by our encounter. He asked me if I had heard her tone of voice as she pleaded with us to help her. "Did you hear how she said, 'Can you help me'?" I did. And the Lord knows I had released the bill in my pocket. I tried to explain to him that sometimes people need money for drugs, or beer or whatever. I pointed out that I was willing to meet her need, but she just wanted cash. I didn't think she had been honest with us. He was unimpressed. He spoke up in her defense: "She had a kid! How could she be on drugs?". Innocent and unimpressed.
Last year there was a man standing at the entrance drive to Walmart. His sign said, "Need money...Anything will help". Landen begged me to circle around and give him another chance to share his money with the man. I circled. Landen gave. The neighbor thanked us.
There is man who lives in our town who has been apparently homeless since the boys were little. We got to know him as we waited in the McDonald's drive-thru after play dates. We would give him money for food or coffee. After we had seen him a few times, I invited him to a luncheon at church. (I thought it was stupid that he had such simple, obvious needs, and we were on our way to do what he needed most...eat) He seemed to have a good time, but was very quiet. He ate a lot. One of the men at church was BESIDE HIMSELF that I had picked Mr. Richard up and driven him to the church. He offered to take him back to his "camp" in the Kroger parking lot. We still see Mr. Richard. We don't frequent drive-thru's as often (which is where he scopes the parking lot for lost change) The kids do roll down their windows to greet him when we're close enough for him to hear.
Ok, back to the parking lot question...Do we have to know all the facts before we are helpful? Is it poor stewardship to blindly contribute to bondage. Or do we contribute to the bondage by turning away.
I thought about it as I lay in bed. She had a decent car (same year as mine). The backseat was empty....no clothes, or belongings that would typify someone with a car but nowhere to stay. Then I thought, maybe all her stuff is at her boyfriend's house, and he kicked her out, and now she doesn't know where to go. That theory sent me back into guilt-ville. Why didn't she tell me that? Why did I need to know?
Help me know what to do next time.
