To Top It All

Ok, so I'm driving home from our local discount superstore, and I glance over at the lady driving the neighboring SUV. She held a jar in one hand while bracing the steering wheel with that elbow. I watched as she used her other hand to untwist the jar's lid while steering with her other elbow! My thoughts were mainly focused on how dangerous that seemed....and I began to look for an opportunity to change lanes. As I looked over again, she was gulping from the jar. I leaned across my center console to gawk....It was a jar of Maraschino Cherries! She was chugging cherry juice, people! Now my mind was a blur....did she just buy those at Wal-Mart? What difference does it make--she's slurping straight sucrose! I regained composure, placed my hands at 10 and 2, and checked all my mirrors. Now, back to "Sweet Swiggin' Sue"...I peered one last time to see if it's customary to totally drain the cherries before tightening the lid, or if good humor would allow for the chomping of a couple, there, toward the end. We'll never know....she had put the jar away, and was continuing to drive with an elbow and a hand while she talked on the phone! I'm writing my congressman to see if the cell phone law could be extended to include the impulsive consumption of sundae toppings.