Psalm 27:4
"I am asking God for one thing ... the only thing I really want:
To live in His Presence every day of my life,
Gazing on His beauty and seeking Him ..."
Have you ever just blown up realtor(dot)com all the way? Don't lie.
I remember when we were considering the purchase of this house. Philip was working a hurricane in the gulf and before he left he had applied for a new job that would necessitate a move. We hadn't told the kids any of our plans, and there were so many unknowns.
I really liked the "bones" of this house. The decor was outdated (and I've tried to remain faithful to that vibe lol), but the layout seemed timeless. I could fully imagine Thanksgiving 2035 happily happening on this property.
But just as I would conjure up a good whiff of pumpkin spice in my mind, apprehension would grip my nerves.
The first wave of worry was filled with a basic fears of the unknown ... foundation, plumbing, what-if-the-roof-falls-off kind of angst. But as soon as I could dispel those concerns with a mediocre helping of faith in God's good character, a fresh fear would overcome my thoughts. A holy fear.
The first wave of worry was filled with a basic fears of the unknown ... foundation, plumbing, what-if-the-roof-falls-off kind of angst. But as soon as I could dispel those concerns with a mediocre helping of faith in God's good character, a fresh fear would overcome my thoughts. A holy fear.
"What if this is NOT the house God has for us?"
The kids probably thought I was crazy as I silently added "stalk the vacant house south of town" to the end of all our errand lists. I would drive by really slowly, praying, telling God how much I liked it, begging ... not for God to give us this house, but for Him to protect me from myself if my own desires happened to step out from under His best plan.
As the process lengthened, I remember the wise words a dear friend offered, "God knows exactly where He wants you to live. He's not trying to keep it from you ... He just wants to talk with you some more."
My humble, repetitive prayer became, "I want to live where You are. That is all."
Feeling powerless and unable to know or even predict the future, I needed to link up with the One for whom nothing is impossible - the One who knows everything and cares about me.
This is my experience: In the moment when I turn my attention away from earthly distractions to focus on God, all is well. He is altogether lovely, and as I seek Him, I realize He is true. He is everything. He is enough. He is able to do more than I could ask or imagine, and He carefully provides for me with a rich love that has no end. So when it feels like I've been left alone and nothing is right, I'm still distracted, and need to look again.
We've lived here for eight years. I am so grateful for our home. But I'm forever grateful for a Loving Father who never leaves and never changes. He is utterly available to chat with me and offer perfect guidance. I'd be a silly girl not to receive all that means. (I've been silly a lot!)
As I face new trials, and manage the unknowns in so many areas of life, I revisit that familiar posture or prayer: "I want to live where You are. That is all."
Take courage! Find Joy;)
