In complete immaturity, I’ve often approached Proverbs 31 like a checklist of attainable accomplishments. (And I haven’t walked away too shabbily)
Her husband has full confidence in her… check.
She brings him good all the days of her life…15 years: so far, so good, check.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands…fall festival costumes, hello? check
She brings her food from afar…sometimes I go to the W*lm*rt in Longview! Check
She gets up while it is still dark…duh…check
She provides food for her family…check,check,check,check,check,check
She portions for her servant girls. (servant girls? I can have servant girls???)
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks…guns, the girl got cannons…check
She sees that her trading is profitable…ebay?…check
And her lamp does not go out at night…ahh, the subtle, blue glow from the computer screen…check
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy….meals on wheels…check.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet…I claim the Texas exemption on this one, but I do buy a lot of red stuff at the consignment shop…check
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple…bedspreads: check…FINE linen?…purple! yes, purple!…check
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land….I know he takes a seat with some old guys at Wh*t*burger every morning….check
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue…most of the time: check
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness…double-check.
Her children rise up and call her blessed…uhm…
When my children are grown, and we’ve just enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving meal…do you really think some of them might say, “Mom, you’re so good at what you do.”? “Mom, it’s amazing how much you’ve accomplished!” At my funeral, will they talk about the costumes, clothing, and casseroles? Or will they be comforted by my love for Jesus that was absolutely undeniable throughout their lives?
You see, I’ve been a poser. My pride has been stroked by outsiders ooh-ing and ah-ing over my skill and productivity. And that would be great if my family knew me as a woman who fears the Lord. I’ve been checking off a list knowing that the proverbial woman who accomplishes these tasks will be praised at the city gate. I’ve been stacking surface stuff in order to prove what’s at the core of my being. I’m getting city praise and my family knows how stressed and fussy and harried I am in the midst of such achievement.
I must shift my focus. I should spend more energy on my heart. Praying for the Father to cultivate in me a tremendous fear for Him, a consuming hunger for His Word, and Spirit-driven passion for sharing His love. My family’s gonna know what’s up. They’ll see it, feel it, be changed by it. I think the “family manager” stuff will continue to bloom. But the flower will be alive and springing forth from healthy, nurtured soil; not some plastic sprig of pansies shoved in a wad of dried moss. And do you know what comes from a flower? Fruit! And what comes from fruit? Seeds for MORE fruit! My daughters will not have to be posers! My sons will not marry posers! Yay God!
