Thursday, February 17, 2022
Hat Trick
Friday, February 04, 2022
Aroma Therapy
It began as an odd odor, and progressed into a full blown muggy funk. For a few days we left the garage door open, but as the stench lingered, my family simply altered its traffic pattern toward the patio. Avoidance of this unknown source was not a suitable long-term solution.
"We must figure out what stinks so badly!" I implored.
Responses ranged from, "It's gross," to "I don't know what it is; I can't help."
One little darling admitted, "It smells like somethin' dead. I'm scared."
"Well, it's not getting any better!" I pleaded with the mass of denial. We had looked in all the usual places: it was not a shoe or a cooler or a baseball bag. So what and where was it?
Finally, we decided to draw straws to choose an investigator. Since my oldest son's sense of smell had been numbed by years of dirty socks and body functions, he received the honorary short straw.
After quite a while, he came in and walked directly to the kitchen sink where he washed his hands FAR longer than he typically does. As my blue-eyed teen somberly dried his hands with a towel, the family gathered, hoping to hear of his discoveries.
In his preciously thick, East Texan drawl, he began to speak.
"Umm. You guys remember last week when Mom asked me to bring in a milk from the deep freeze? Well . . . ummm, the milk was behind . . . So, like a month ago, you guys remember . . . I don't know if I told y'all that I caught a monster bass over in Mr. Bobby's pond. Anyway, I thought about getting it mounted, so I wrapped it in a plastic bag and stuck it in the freezer. So, like . . . I guess I set it in front of the milk. And when Mom wanted the milk the other day, I had to set the fish on top of the fridge to dig out the milk because . . . you guys know how ice sorta builds up around things in the freezer?"
Each member of the family stood still and stared in wide-eyed amazement as he spoke. Some seemed satisfied by the poetic justice of his coincidental short straw and guilty status. Others were distracted by his unorthodox manner of story-telling which exhibited a complete lack of chronological coherence. We raised our eyebrows and collectively leaned in closer, prompting him to finish his narrative quickly and happily.
"So . . . I guess I got the milk, and brought it in. But I guess I totally forgot about the fish. But . . . uh . . . I don't think I can get it mounted now, so I just took it out and buried it by the back fence. It had gotten juice all on top of the freezer too, so I cleaned that up with some paper towels and threw them away. It still kinda stinks out there, though. I should probably get some Lysol or somethin', but it's all good. Are the Rangers winning?"
***
Often, I perceive a distinct unpleasantness in my life. Its lingering funkiness indicates an unknown source beyond the usual challenges of everyday life.
I try to air it out. I try to ignore it. But ultimately, I resolve to seek out and eliminate the source of ugliness. The process of sin-search is not fun. I have to be brave. Deep down I know there is no hope of nourishment or growth until I deal with the mess.
As I retrace my steps, I find an unforgiven wound - though once carefully preserved, it is now exposed and rotting - affecting my environment in the most undesirable way. Once God leads me to the source of my pain, He patiently walks with me as I deal with it properly. Not by concealing it in plastic, frozen in time and space, but by burying it deep within the humble, loosened soil of my life. It will die away and become the richness of fertile ground.
And the Father begins a new thing in me.
Seeds of grace
firmly planted,
nestled in the compost of sorrow turned to joy,
watered by the Word,
warmed by the presence of the Son,
and strengthened by the wind of the Spirit,
eventually burst forth into fragrant flowers and fresh fruit.
"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." - Lamentations 3:40
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." - James 4:10
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9
"Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." - Colossians 3:13
"There was a time when I wouldn't admit what a sinner I was. But my dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration ... My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, 'I will confess them to the Lord.' And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." - Psalm 32:3-5
"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires." - Matthew 5:6
Saturday, January 29, 2022
Sharper in Real Life
Once the party had begun, she pulled me aside and asked if there was somewhere she could nurse her baby privately. Hmmmm. As dread replaced cheer, I forced the continuation of my smile.
Yes. I have a rocking chair in my room. That room that never got cleaned this week, that served as the staging area for most of this party's projects and preparation. That room that currently houses no fewer than four laundry baskets filled with all the random junk we collected from around the house as we cleaned. Oh, Dear Heavens, Yes, I have a place.
I looked her in the eye and confessed. "You are welcome to use my room. But if I let you see my room today, I must tell you, like it or not, you and I are about to become VERY close friends!"
At that point in my life I lived within a binding veil of perceived perfectionism. The truth of my messes was hidden away - safely out of sight. Very few folks had been granted access into the reality of my short-falls. But on that day, God used this glorified acquaintance to barge past the boundaries of my pride to offer acceptance and grace. Turning the knob to my bedroom opened a pathway to peace ... but it was hard. Exposing the cluttered mess surrounding my unmade bed - which symbolized other, less physical, areas of my life - also exposed my fear of being known and rejected.
But there she went. Confident and gracious. She did not gasp in disbelief. She did not recoil with disgust. She happily high-stepped over a basket of [stuff], swayed with her infant while I tossed a pile of clothes away from the rocker, then she sunk into the chair and smiled a grateful grin as I slipped out of the room.
We were SO gonna have to be BFFS after this.
Our friendship did grow quickly and easily in the fertile soil of humor and humility, strengthened by honesty, having been sprouted by the soaking, cleansing rains of unexpected transparency.
Over the years, we have each had opportunity to extend grace toward one another. She and I have enjoyed the freedom to speak our minds. At times we misunderstood each other. We caused each other hurt and confusion, but we always continued the conversation until it landed in a peaceful place. Sometimes we were sorting through my junk, other times we were hashing through hers. Many times we simply enjoyed the deep, true comfort of a smile and a wave from someone who knows you well ... and loves you anyway.
She shared parts of her most difficult journeys with me. She consistently offered me the truth of her humanity. She was honest about her struggles. She is gifted and talented and strong in so many ways, but has rarely shied away from treasuring her weaknesses in front of me.
A decade ago in January, I hit my lowest point, and had a smallish break-down. She was the person I called. I couldn't be sure how others might react to the ugly pit in which I had lost myself. Some might gloss over my plight and downplay the severity of the crisis. Others might absolutely panic in the thick, blinding smog of my recent emotional explosion.
She neither bolted nor belittled. She listened. She prayed. She said she'd be there if I needed to talk some more. And we journeyed onward.
I thank God for that birthday party and that breast-feeding baby. I thank God for not leaving my heart trapped behind the walls of denial and pride and fear. I am thankful for friends who courageously share who they really are, and graciously allow me to be who I truly am.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:10
Saturday, January 08, 2022
Before or Besides
Sunday, January 02, 2022
Commission at Braum's
The dining room is almost full. People of every age and every energy level sit in groups of various sizes. Some chat as fries are dipped in sauce, some smile silently as ice cream cones dwindle in peace, and some meander toward refills of soda.
A frail, middle-aged woman with tattered clothes and a second-hand designer purse slips in through the sliding door. Her hair is thin and her make-up is noticeable. She stands quietly alone a few feet from the cashier's line.
People either see her or they don't, but body language around the room pays her no attention. Eyes nonchalantly scan, and curiosities are whispered between bites, while oblivion completely shields other ongoing conversations.
Minutes pass, and the couple waiting for their order in the front booth casually strike up a quiet conversation with the woman. Smiles and sentences are exchanged and then they separate again. The husband approaches the counter to place an additional order then returns to his tidy booth without very many people noticing.
Standing straight against the display of bread and fruit, the woman folds her hands together tightly at her waist and waits.
A few patrons find themselves making accidental eye contact once they have stared too long in her direction. Suppositions of her story stream through several head-ducked whisper discussions around the room.
One teenaged girl watches as the woman stands and waits alone. She mouths compassionate concern to her mom while thumbing through her wallet. Their non-verbal stratgizing is unclear yet unified and hesitant.
Just then, a number is called and the gentleman in the front booth collects the to-go bag and foam cup then hands them to the woman.
It seems like several folks are watching now, waiting to sum it up with her departure. But near the exit, she turns and walks to the corner booth where she slides into the seat to eagerly unpack her supper.
Heads seem to bow all around as she pauses before her first bite.
God bless this food and it's not polite to stare.
The teen still seems intent on engaging and has evidently been granted permission. She bundles her half-eaten sandwich and fries, grabs her drink, and approaches the woman's booth.
Like a silent film, eyebrows raise with humble offerings, hands pat the table in glad agreement, and the rigid unwrapping of sandwiches between strangers catches the attention of the crowd.
Everyone acts normal at their tables while 80's music plays through the ceiling speakers. But also, it is a muted freeze-frame of nervous curiosity and awe.
After a few minutes, the girl's mother makes a trip past the trash can and introduces herself to the woman. The woman smiles big and commends the mother on raising such a kind daughter. The girl shows signs of overwhelm as she explains to her mom that the woman is asking for money.
The mother gently touches the woman's shoulder as frantic hands roll through explanations and requests. It is the first time words are loud enough to be heard across the room. "If I just had a few dollars to buy lunch meat and some bread . . . And a flashlight . . ."
While the woman expresses her preference for cash, the mother's face asks her girl, "Are you good or are you ready to go?" The girl, seemingly comforted by her mother's support, smiles, "all good".
The mother excuses herself and goes to the grocery section of the store. She places a loaf of bread and a package of turkey on the cashier's counter. The employee's quizzical grin precedes her answer, "No, I don't believe we sell flashlights." She cinches the plastic bag, ties a knot, and smiles, "Thank you, and God bless this."
The dinner rush is over and the room is calm and quiet. A little boy and his grandmother sitting nearby have finished their cones and are almost ready to leave. The grandmother clears the table and gathers her purse and sweater as she monitors the boy's solo trip to the counter. He loosens the velcro of his man-sized wallet to pay and zip up the change.
He walks with purpose and care to deliver the chocolate ice cream cone to the woman in the booth with the teen. She gasps with delight and hugs the little boy as if they are family. He blushes brave to receive his thanks and runs back to clasp hands with his grandma so they can go home.
The mother carrying groceries passes the little boy on her way back to the booth. Setting the bag on the table, she agrees with the woman in the joy of the unexpected sweet treat, and nods to her daughter that it's time to go.
And they go.
As we go. Into our world. Whether "Braum's" is our workplace or dinner spot or pit-stop traveling through . . .
"Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2
Thursday, December 23, 2021
Bound to be Good
This is our third Christmas in the home we share. It's quite simple, just not always easy.


